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De-Deconstructing Green Porno with Isabella Rossellini at Mean Magazine


De-Deconstructing Green Porno with Isabella Rossellini

Isabella Rossellini has written, directed and produced a delightfully unusual series for the Sundance Channel entitled “Green Porno”. It’s a comical presentation of the unusual mating habits of animals and insects. They are funny. You should watch them and laugh. You should not deconstruct them and draw unconscionable conclusions like I have. Watch these in their simplicity or suffer an existential apocalypse as I did. Watch. Laugh. Enjoy. Simple.

Do you feel that male bees are hopeless romantics since their exploding penises act as a plug, deterring other male bees from sexual solicitation? Am I over thinking it?

IR: I think you’re over thinking it. I just told a story in a funny way – I don’t know if it’s romantic or not – this might be what you think, and that’s fine. I wasn’t trying to find the most romantic story. There are 18 different animals that all mate differently and we wanted it to be a little comical series. I wasn’t attributing any values, sentimental or dramatic.


I guess I found it romantic how a male can make their penis explode for one female – that’s pretty passionate. Maybe that says something about me more than what your intent was. Sorry.

IR: That’s okay! When you do a film you always do think that people react differently. You find it romantic, some people find it comical, other people find it scandalous, so I don’t think you should deny your reaction.

Okay, I find it romantic then. Exploding male bee penises are romantic to me. Okay, but you can’t deny that snails are sadomasochistic. Clearly, the snails poke each other for sexual gratification. Do you think they’re conscious of it?


IR: We don’t know if animals think or feel or have the same kind of senses we do. My intent was much more simple – it was to make a comical series on animals because it was interesting to explore short films that relate to the environment. Most of the things we see on the environment is much more serious and is about the desperate situation that the habitat or planet is in.

Don’t humans find humor through association though? There’s got to be an emotional connection for humans to find something funny correct?

IR: This is a very unusual interview. I don’t know what to say. I’m not trying to make a connection. I feel like you’re projecting on me.

No, I’m not projecting, at least I hope not. If I’m offending you, I’m sorry. I love the series Isabella. Seriously…

IR: No, no, you’re not offending me. When I write, I come from a different point of view. You are saying I am referencing humans and yes I am (a human) and dress up like one of these animals but it was for comical effect. If I’m (dressed up) like a bug, it’s not a comment on sadomasochistic behavior in humans. I just read this information in scientific books and I transform myself in costume and imagine myself as this animal. The intention was not to speculate on human behavior or do something philosophical or profound. I wanted people to laugh and for people’s curiosity to be aroused. It was much simpler and not as sophisticated as that.

Forget about humans then. As a viewer when I watched the shorts, I couldn’t help but ask myself, WHY? I found it funny, but at the same time it taught me a lot. I didn’t know that snails mated like that. I didn’t know that bees mated like that. That was very interesting to me and I couldn’t help myself from reacting…

IR: … in that way, I know, but besides that I wanted to solicit the reaction of funny and then to say, Oh I didn’t know that. Beyond that I didn’t want to make it anything else. I wanted it to be funny.

I think it is funny. I’m sorry, I feel like I’m going in circles. I love the shorts. They are funny and I learned a lot.